Dodger Logic: #82: The Reality of Suicide & Mental Illness

With all the buzz, and especially criticism, of Robin Williams's death, this is something that needs to be said. I understand that a lot of people have never had a mental disease, namely severe depression. If you've never had it, there's really no way for you to understand it. I realize that. But that's exactly it. People who criticize a suicidal mind need to realize just that - that it's something they couldn't possibly understand if they've never been in that place themselves. Read this, and maybe you'll understand it a bit more and humble yourselves.

I've heard a lot of crap about Robin Williams since he committed suicide. I've heard way too much criticism about a man who, until recently, everyone admired and adored. He made us laugh. He gave us a lot of really great movies that we can watch until we ourselves die. He gave us brilliance. So what has changed everyone's view of him? He made a personal choice. Yes, he was rich. Yes, he was successful and famous. Yes, I'm sure he had a lot of "stuff." But that just goes to show you money does not equal happiness. Depression does not discriminate. Just because you're rich and famous doesn't mean you're invincible. And, from what I've seen of the drug scene in Hollywood, being famous is a very stressful job. Did you guys know Robin Williams had been battling drug use and alcoholism his whole life? I heard he had recently relapsed before he died, but that could've been jibber jabber. What I do know is that he had recently been diagnosed with a lethal disease called Parkinson's. He had been given a death sentence. He knew he was going to wither away and die a painful and disturbing death. He would have, in his mind, become a burden to his loved ones, and then he would die. His life was pretty much over when he was diagnosed with Parkinson's. Yes, he may have been able to give more, but at the point of his diagnosis, I think he had just been through enough in his life. He was in his 60s, he had lived a pretty full life, and he had accomplished A LOT. He probably felt like he had given all he had to give, and he surely had given a lot.

Nevermind that. The point is that severe depression is a mental disease just like any other disease, except it affects the brain, the mind, the self-esteem, and the soul. It's painful in a completely different way than other diseases. It affects your self worth. Severe depression breaks you down until you feel like you have nothing left to give to anyone. And what hurts the most about it is that you feel like you're a burden on your family. You feel like everyone would be better off without you - like you'd be doing everyone else a favor if you somehow weren't there anymore. THAT is why suicide is not selfish. On the contrary, it's like the complete opposite. Someone who commits suicide thinks he/she is doing a selfless act. You get to the point where you feel like you can't take anymore and that your family and friends shouldn't have to suffer on your behalf, so you destroy what you feel like is causing their pain - yourself. Robin Williams was trying to do that. He was trying to keep his family and friends from having to take care of him and watch him wither away and die. He wasn't trying to be selfish. I swear, hearing ignorant people who just have no clue about clinical depression call someone who has just died "selfish" is the saddest and most disrespectful thing I can think of. What do you think Robin Williams's family thinks about hearing people call their son, husband, father, and friend "selfish?" Have you all completely lost your sense of empathy? This family has just lost someone very important to them.

Yes, suicide is very sad. It's sad that someone had to go out like that - in sadness and depression. It's sad when someone shortens his/her life and doesn't get the full effect of living. (However, Robin Williams was old enough to have lived a full life, and with all that he accomplished, I'd say he did just that.) It's sad when loved ones are left behind with questions. "Why did he think we'd be better off without him?" "Could we have done something to save him?" "Did I play a part in his unhappiness?" Yes, that is very sad and haunting. But Robin Williams made a personal decision. He didn't want to live anymore, so who is to say he shouldn't be allowed to quit? If that's really what he wanted, then he should have been allowed to do it in peace. We all have the right to live, and we all have the right to die. No one knows what Robin Williams was thinking, or what he was going through. Everyone is battling demons that no one else could possibly understand. But he made a choice for his own personal life - a choice that he should have been allowed to make.

So why didn't Robin Williams get help? Why didn't he talk to a psychiatrist and get some meds? Well, maybe he did. I don't know. Not every kind of medicine works for everyone. Besides that, medicine isn't a cure-all end-all. You have to use it right. When I had severe depression, my doctor gave me a pill and told me "This is not a happy pill. It will not work if you don't make it work. This is a tool. I'm giving you a screwdriver, but you have to turn it on the screw in order to make it work." Maybe Robin Williams tried but just didn't have it in him. Or maybe he was just like many others battling depression. Maybe he was afraid of exactly what he has received - judgement. Maybe he was afraid to seem weak. Maybe he feared discrimination and isolation. Afterall, he was very much in the public eye. These are the things that haunt tons of people who don't seek help for severe depression. Isn't that sad? They feel this way because of all this constant judgement that goes around when something like this happens. Instead of judging them, what would happen if everyone offered support, love, help, compassion, patience, tolerance, and open-mindedness? Then maybe people with depression would be more likely to seek help, instead of turning to such drastic measures such as suicide.

Think about what you're saying when you say it. Think about who it could hurt. No, I didn't know Robin Williams personally. But I've personally been in his place before, as I have previously battled severe depression. If it weren't for my mom's intervention, I could've ended up like him. Also, I've had 3 family members commit suicide in the past. It's not something to joke about, and it's not something to readily criticize. Think about who is around you when you tell people you think suicide is selfish. You may have no clue who you're offending. And I can tell you, I want to rip off the head of any and every person who has ever tried to tell me suicide is selfish.

Everyone has the right to their own beliefs. You can believe suicide is selfish if you want, even if you've never been in that place and could never possibly understand it. Believe what you want. But collectively, everyone needs to stop pretending like you have the right to judge how someone else lives their life or dies. No one can judge what they don't know or understand. How about we take all this negative energy from judging and, instead, use that energy to educate ourselves on the matter? And have some damn empathy - if not for him, then at least for his family. The man JUST died.

I'm not giving the depressed a way out here. I'm not letting you all off the hook. I still think you should take care of yourself and your loved ones if you can, because there is always another way. You can always decide to become happy and move on. With some help, you can do anything. Depression is very real. It takes lives, just like any other disease. It's not a joke, and it's not to be taken lightly. If you or a loved one has shown signs of depression, get some help NOW. Don't wait. To get started, you can go to this website: http://www.therefuge-ahealingplace.com/lp/depression-treatment?mm_campaign=A2E530639621994F7182B3D66DD5EFF1&keyword=%2Bdepression%20%2Bhelp&mm_utm_source=Google&mm_utm_campaign=Depression_Tier_2_Broad_HCVR&ad_type=Depression&_kk=%2Bdepression%20%2Bhelp_kt=c3d13c89-6fd4-48a6-bd1b-401378d07048&utm_term=%2Bdepression%20%2Bhelp&gclid=CKLFqeCfqMACFSbl7Aod_h4AiQ. You can get confidential help from their hotline, (855) 451-0970. And if anyone ever needs to talk, I'm always available.