Dodger Logic: #66: The More the Merrier

Polygamy: A marriage which includes more than 2 partners.

Polygyny: A marriage which includes a man married to multiple wives, in which the wives do not have any marriage bonds to each other.

Polyandry: A marriage which includes a woman married to multiple husbans, in which the husbands do not have any marriage bonds to each other.

Group Marriage: A marriage which includes multiple wives and/or multiple husbands that all have marriage bonds within the marriage unit. They live together as a family, and depending on the sexual orientation of the members, all the men might be sexually with the women, all the men and women might be sexually involved with all the women (while none of the men are sexually involved with each other,) everyone might be sexually involved with everyone, etc.

Polyamorous Relationship: Any relationship, in which 2 or more people are involved and intimate with each other. (Some may not be intimate with all of the members of the relationship.)

***All of the above are distinct from "swinging," as that is simply described as sexual acts between couples, not a relationship that is formed between them. All of the above are also distinct from "open relationships" and "open marriages," in which each member is allowed to commit sexual acts with whoever he/she wants, with or without his/her partner's knowledge of each individual sexual partner. Polyamory is also distinct from adultery. In polyamorous relationships, everyone in the group is aware of every exploit that goes on, and everyone in the group consents. (The consent part is not necessarily true in polygynous and polyandrous marriages in various countries, but it seems to be such a norm in some places that people do not reject it, nor do they protest it.)

Bigamy: The crime of marrying more than one person at a time. Polygamy is illegal in many countries. Most countries in which it is legal include many Asian and African countries.

While polygamy is illegal in the United States, there are all kinds of polyamorous relationships here, as well as in other countries. As much as 10% of the United States is self-identified as polyamorous. Some people say this is the next generation of relationships and marriage, since so many people are on board with it. And let's be honest, every straight woman and gay man has fantasized about being loved and adored by a room full of men, and every straight man and gay woman has fantasized about being loved and adored by a room full of women. So is this something might become more acceptable in the future? It's quite possible. We've gone through so many social revolutions at this point that who knows what is in store for the future.

Many people criticize this way of life. Such criticisms include:
1. Polyamorous relationships could lead to abuse within the unit.
2. Polyamorous relationships could lead to the neglect of one or more people within the unit.
3. More than 2 people in a relationship will never work, as that is only a sexual desire without the capability of forming a real, true relationship. (By this, I mean jealousy will overtake the partners.)
4. It would be unfair and confusing for any children who are involved.
5. According to many religions, there are only to be 2 people in a relationship at one time. In some religions, including the traditional southern Christian Baptist religion, only a man and woman are permitted to be in a relationship.

There are also, however, many people who disagree with the criticisms. I've seen several videos and documentaries, in which many polyamorous families have been interviewed and believe that their lives are normal, besides the fact that they are in a non-traditional relationship. Many of these people say they simply could not be in a monogamous relationship, and that having a polyamorous relationship actually gets rid of the jealousy can come from relationships, particularly monogamous ones. Many people say it is freeing and, therefore, easier to maintain. Some people deny any counts of abuse or neglect, although there have been all kinds of counts in such relationships in countries where polygamy is allowed, encouraged, and/or required.

So what is necessary to keep a polyamorous relationship alive? According to http://people.howstuffworks.com/polyamory2.htm, communication is key. Everything has to be consentual, and everyone has to know what is going on at all times. It has to be a very open relationship in order for it to work. Everyone in the group has to be accepting of everyone else. For example, if Bob and Sue decide they want to bring someone else into their relationship, and Bob finds Linda and brings her home, Sue has to approve of Linda, and of course, it wouldn't hurt if Linda liked Sue too. Even if Linda and Sue are not going to be intimate with each other, they have to like each other. Sue may veto Linda and tell Bob to find someone else, or Sue and Linda might get along great.

What about the children? In a lot of polyamorous relationships, there are many children living in the household. Using the example above, Bob and Sue might have a polyamorous relationship with Linda, Matt, Johnny, and Laura. They all live together as a family. Bob and Sue have a daughter, Bob and Linda have a son, Matt and Laura have a daughter, Johnny and Laura have a son, and Sue and Johnny have twin boys. There may be any variation of this. It may just be that Bob and Sue have a daughter, and Linda and Matt have a son. Or it may be that Bob has a child with every woman in the household. Or maybe Bob and Sue have a daughter that all the other members of the relationship help parent. They may even tell the child that they are her uncles and aunts. Some children may not understand the relationship between all of the members of the relationship, or they may understand perfectly fine. According to many people in the situation, the children are not harmfully affected by the relationship in any way. If anything, they have extra people to love them and take care of them. The only thing that might harm them is the potential for them to be picked on at school, simply because they live in a non-traditional family.

So is this wrong? Is this something that should be illegal? Or should we let people do as they please? Should children be protected from such relationships? Should children in polyamorous relationships be taken away from their parents? I'm inclined to say that everyone should be able to do as they please, as long as they're not hurting anyone else. The government should stay out of everyone's business. It doesn't seem like the children are being harmed in any significant way. And who's to say what these people are doing is wrong? Obviously, it's not for everyone. But maybe some people simply can't be happy in a monogamous relationship. Maybe this is something that should be more acceptable in society. And who knows? Maybe it will be someday. Maybe it's the next generation of love! (And this goes for swinging and open relationships/marriages too.)

If you want to explore this further, there are all kinds of videos, documentaries, testimonies, and stories online about polyamorous relationships in America and in other countries. Check out the tv show Strange Sex. You can find it on Netflix. Every episode I've seen is very interesting. There are episodes that explain strange sexual things that may happen to some people that some people may not understand and want clarification on, as well as sexual diseases that are atypical. Also, there are episodes on all kinds of strange sexual addictions, as well as all kinds of other sexual accounts that you wouldn't believe. One episode in particular is about relationships and sexual exploits including more than 2 people. It's called "Two Boyfriends and a Baby" I encourage you guys to check out this episode, as well as all the rest, because this tv show really is enlightening and fun.

Let me just throw in a disclaimer here: I'm not encouraging, nor am I discouraging any of the above mentioned acts or relationships. I'm simply discussing it. I'm not judging anyone who may be involved in anything I've mentioned, and I'm not judging anyone who may be against any of the things I mentioned. Nothing that I've mentioned is a reflection upon me or what I do behind closed doors. I simply like to discuss and think about the various ways in which people live their lives and the reasoning behind them. I like to keep an open mind about all sorts of situations that people find themselves in, and I find these sorts of differences among people to be very intriguing.